4|3|2016

my sweet darling dreamers...

{chase the light. whatever & wherever it might be for you. chase it}.

now...give yourself permission. & go.

...

wild heart • gypsy soul

xoxo, miss airstream

4|2|2016

i pull my jeep in next to bambi, hoping one of my trailer neighbors has left me a pink post-it note or a hello or helium balloons. why would they do that, you wonder...it's just how i live life inside my head & mom says ask & you shall receive. {i'm in trailer spot e6}. wink.

instead, my trailer door is open. & it's now midnight & dark & i'm alone. uh oh. is it possible that i forgot to shut that door three days ago. it was an early 3am, the morning i left for the san jose a...irport en route to phoenix, arizona for spring training, some sunshine & sedona.

my eyes are big, standing at my front door...because it's possible i did leave it open.

dear bad guy, i'm kinda scared now so please don't be hiding in my bathroom & if you steal my floral lawn chairs & fur rug...i will taser you & tell the judge i smiled while you squirmed.

& dear god, mayday...can you send my special forces rescue team in for 'operation trailer door open.' get jeff c here. bring in nic & his swat team. get the sarge & the portland police department down here, stat. & my alaska trooper & my u.s. marshall & my firefighter. oh & my pararescue jumpers. all 4 of them. of course i volunteered to be lowered down an alaskan rock cliff, just so i could be rescued by those hunky heroes, for their training purposes of course. & for my pleasure, shhhh. i am sooo bad. {hi guys}.

note: i have only made out with one of the police officers {matt} & the firefighter {victor}.

let's move on...why did i leave the damn door open.

it's 3am & i'll be departing from terminal a @ 6:05. i need coffee & a nap & i'm most likely delusional for obvious reasons at that time of day. i hadn't packed or even shaved my legs. my hot shower runs off two 7 gallon propane tanks. i had been afraid to refill the empty one, mostly because it looks like a bomb & i'm certain that it will explode if i touch it. and really, showering + shaving is complicated when the hot water runs cold because you didn't fill that extra tank.

that afternoon in phoenix, while i sipped on my second captain morgans adult beverage in a hot pink water bottle...i looked down to notice unshaved hairs on my left lateral calf, right knee & bilateral bikini lines. while laying next to a guy with a gorgeous muscly chest & pheromones that can make a girl go gaga. i hoped he didn't notice.

okay okay, what happened with the open door. yay, nothing at all. i cracked the door open & took a peak to find bambi just as i left her.

this is just the story & there is no aha life changing lesson today {other than if a grande iced caramel macchiato with soy wakes you up & helps you shave your legs & lock your trailer door...please add starbucks to your rescue team}.

wild heart • gypsy soul

xoxo, miss airstream

3|31|2016

i was stuck. so stuck. & maybe my heart was sad. sad because i had given up on who i wanted to be. i had thrown in the towel. at thirty-years old, i thought to myself...fine, alright, okay okay, i will just go ahead & live life the way i "heard" i was supposed to live it. i turned my gypsy off & "normal" on.

in my attempt to rebel against "normal," tequila shots at the country bar near my house sure helped. ahhh yesss.

note: after those t-shots, do not purchase a pepsi & ho...t tamale candy at the 7-11, then request that the clerk call the police for your ride home while it rains. call a taxi or uber or your brother. & do not sing justin bieber songs at 3am, while you're wobbling home, because the neighbors will call them again. little do the neighbors know, i secretly appreciate that. because a single girl needs a little eye candy & police are hunky muscly men in uniform. so bring those babes on. & call the fire department while you're at it.

gosh, re-reading that, my "normal" isn't as boring as i thought it was...lol. just wait until you hear how tequila introduced me to bruce. the harley riding, leather wearing, tattooed & toned sexy stallion with a real record {not like an album, like jail time}. bruce sure could dance though. rawr.

back to the story. while i lived that lovely life for a short time, i knew that wasn't me either. something wasn't right. there was no doubt that i needed the hot pink life jacket you've heard me talk about. i was drowning & the waves tossed me over & under until i had nothing left inside of me. no sparkle or smiley eyes. i turned cold. the light was dim. maybe dark.

{sweet angel girl, i'm so sorry i didn't listen to you}.

if you ever question why you are living your life in a way that you don't want to live it, i may know how you feel. it is because of the darkness, that i know light. & it is because of sadness, that i chose to make a change.

you will meet resistance in this life. be okay with that. it is expected. those are the moments that you'll just have to keep swimming. when the waves toss us next time, let's tighten up our mermaid tails & say tataaaa. take the time you need, to find out who you are & who you want to be. because when you can find her, you can be her.

despite my fears & the doubts i had regarding my ability to do the rv thang on my own...this airstream story of mine, saved me. it took all this time, & today i have nothing but ❤️ for the tinkerbell girl inside of me. i think she is just the bees knees. & i'm proud of her. she is brave & resilient & warm.

that tinkerbell girl inside of you, is just the bees knees too. find a way to save her. she is so loved. let her out & let her light shine tonight.

wild heart • gypsy soul

xoxo, miss airstream

3|30|2016

{you'll never know, until you go.}

so, darling...just go.

wild heart, gypsy soul

...

xoxo, miss airstream

{sedona, arizona}

3|30|2016

{people always ask me when i'm going to come down from the clouds. my answer is never. because i 💙 this view.}

wild heart • gypsy soul

xoxo, miss airstream

3|29|2016

i believe in wearing gorgeously impractical gowns while living in my tiny home.

& i won't lie, i believe in spanx too. but please, do not, i repeat, do not...under any circumstances wear spanx on a first date with a hunk you might make out with. when tyler's hand lands on your unnaturally tight tush, you'll have some explainin' to do. yup, this happened. we didn't have a second date. haha! i resorted to a billion butt crunches at the gym. {get it gurl.}

whoa, someone gets si...detracked easily. where was i going with this.

oh, that dress. i pranced thru macy's & gasped the moment i saw it. {think pretty woman, walkin' down the street.} america fell in love with julia roberts. we'll always love her for that laugh. & remember how radiant she looked in that red, off the shoulder evening gown with long white gloves? oh my gahhh, was she stunning or what.

as the ahas come to me as the days go by, this one is grand. because, as i sat down with who i was...i decided that change was necessary if self-love was going be a part of my life.

what is the opposite of self-love? i know...i can't even write it. it's too sad. sad that any of us, ever have to feel that.

{in a society that profits from your self-doubt, loving yourself is a rebellious act.}

darling, be a rebel with me. & wear red while you're at it. discover the moments that make you feel most in ❤️ with you. your mission is to recreate them & repeat them. this is not selfish, it is absolutely necessary for the survival of your gentle soul.

read t h a t again.

this gown did that for me. i sat at my trailer table at 8:46am...with the meet joe black original motion picture soundtrack playing & coffee brewing. my kate spade polka-dot cereal bowl was filled with yogurt & granola & blueberries. and at that moment, i created a moment that i will forever & ever repeat. in red. with white gloves.

i am the rebel.

wild heart • gypsy soul

xoxo, miss airstream

3|28|2016

my eyes light up when a "sign" whispers in a way that only my soul can hear. you know, those little moments that reassure you, you are on the right path. i heart those. every single one of them.

i've always wished. on everything. on eyelashes & stars, on dandelions & the moon. at 11:11 & 11:11...oh yes, i really do. on both of them.

my wish has always been so simple. for happiness.

...

just to find that • prance down the street • dance on the clouds • confetti falling • angels singing • eyes sparkling • ears smiling • goosebump givin' • kinda happiness.

ignore that one time i wished i was lactose intolerant, so i would stop eating dinner at coldstone creamy. i knowwww, don't judge.

without ever looking for it. it was always right there in the name. maybe it was serendipity {go watch dat movie. just adorb.}

air + stream.

i dream up dreams, like most breathe a i r. & because of that air, my strong soft sparkly super-woman like wings...can soar. the message behind the "air," is that this life should feel as if you were flying with me, with your sparkly cape sparkling & star-shaped confetti falling.

& when i stop struggling. i float. it is the law. & on that s t r e a m, my taylor swift swan & i 💜 swanning. the message behind the "stream," is that this life should feel as if you were swanning with me, singing her tunes, sipping on sangria.

if i believe in anything, i believe in this. those wishes, this happiness, & my sweet, sweet bambi...were always going to find me. but, i had to let it in.

let all the good things in, my darlings. please. you deserve so much happiness. so, so much. that is our aha on this lovely day. let it in.

wild heart • gypsy soul

xoxo, miss airstream

3|27|2016

today, the big guy disguised one of his angels in a hospital gown. as a patient of mine.

i signed up to do this job, because i wanted to sprinkle my ❤️ all over this world. i wanted to help others heal. what i did not know, was that they were going to help me heal too.

on this 12 hour holiday, i feel like the lucky one.

...

that. is. the. most. beautiful. aha.

whatever goodness you have to give...sprinkle it all over this pretty planet. because we need you. so much.

angel girl, go.

wild heart • gypsy soul

xoxo, miss airstream