3|31|2016

i was stuck. so stuck. & maybe my heart was sad. sad because i had given up on who i wanted to be. i had thrown in the towel. at thirty-years old, i thought to myself...fine, alright, okay okay, i will just go ahead & live life the way i "heard" i was supposed to live it. i turned my gypsy off & "normal" on.

in my attempt to rebel against "normal," tequila shots at the country bar near my house sure helped. ahhh yesss.

note: after those t-shots, do not purchase a pepsi & ho...t tamale candy at the 7-11, then request that the clerk call the police for your ride home while it rains. call a taxi or uber or your brother. & do not sing justin bieber songs at 3am, while you're wobbling home, because the neighbors will call them again. little do the neighbors know, i secretly appreciate that. because a single girl needs a little eye candy & police are hunky muscly men in uniform. so bring those babes on. & call the fire department while you're at it.

gosh, re-reading that, my "normal" isn't as boring as i thought it was...lol. just wait until you hear how tequila introduced me to bruce. the harley riding, leather wearing, tattooed & toned sexy stallion with a real record {not like an album, like jail time}. bruce sure could dance though. rawr.

back to the story. while i lived that lovely life for a short time, i knew that wasn't me either. something wasn't right. there was no doubt that i needed the hot pink life jacket you've heard me talk about. i was drowning & the waves tossed me over & under until i had nothing left inside of me. no sparkle or smiley eyes. i turned cold. the light was dim. maybe dark.

{sweet angel girl, i'm so sorry i didn't listen to you}.

if you ever question why you are living your life in a way that you don't want to live it, i may know how you feel. it is because of the darkness, that i know light. & it is because of sadness, that i chose to make a change.

you will meet resistance in this life. be okay with that. it is expected. those are the moments that you'll just have to keep swimming. when the waves toss us next time, let's tighten up our mermaid tails & say tataaaa. take the time you need, to find out who you are & who you want to be. because when you can find her, you can be her.

despite my fears & the doubts i had regarding my ability to do the rv thang on my own...this airstream story of mine, saved me. it took all this time, & today i have nothing but ❤️ for the tinkerbell girl inside of me. i think she is just the bees knees. & i'm proud of her. she is brave & resilient & warm.

that tinkerbell girl inside of you, is just the bees knees too. find a way to save her. she is so loved. let her out & let her light shine tonight.

wild heart • gypsy soul

xoxo, miss airstream